Mets Keep Losing

The New York Mets are now 1-8 in September. It seems that they, like me, are incapable of performing under stress. Unlike me, they are professional athletes, and it seems to me that such a tendency to buckle should preclude their ascension to the Major Leagues.

Seriously though, they (as an organization) have some shitty luck. About eighty percent of the players on their 25-man roster (I have nothing to say about the September call-ups), including Carlos "Money Sink" Beltran, performed below expectations this season. And I don't mean marginally below expectations - you'd expect around half to perform at least a little worse than predicted - no, I mean serious letdowns that even a few carefully-measured kilos of Cialis can't fix*.

And the one player that has managed to notably exceed expections is a second-year player who gets paid next to nothing by MLB standards (of course, I refer to David Wright). Mr. Wright must cringe every time he hears an announcer say of him, "this guy's gonna be playin' third at Shea for the next decade!" I only hope that his spirits aren't crushed by the time he reaches free agency; only then can he pursue a decent career.

Okay, I promise: my next post will not have as its primary topic the New York Mets. I cannot, however, guarantee that there will be no mention of them.

*No, I don't have any idea how many times that line has been used, and I am completely unaware of the copyright The Tonight Show no doubt holds for it.